"Forgiveness"

 Taming heart was a severe endeavor; being a prey for a beast was not a wish; it just happened - I forgive myself

A million times I warned myself that it’s a hallucination; life isn't all that fair; it just happened – I forgive myself

Thoughts kept alarming me; it’s just an act of deception, do not thaw out; it just happened – I forgive myself

Indications weren't great; approach was callous; rejection was the mode; it just happened – I forgive myself

Forgiving myself was sturdy than I forgave others; master it screamed my heart and yes; it’s a beautiful piece of art that ever emerged – “It just happened” – “I love myself “ – I forgive myself

UNIQUENESS - Celebrate it....

I am a slave of emotions, I am not always a happy-go-lucky-kind, my heart has seen the ebbs and flows of life – it is black and blue; it has been stretched beyond limits; yet I choose to be flamboyant

Try not to make an entry from the underneath always; try to penetrate into the heart and soul and that’s the opening which is sexier than the one you could ever think of; dignity is a paradise and that’s where I choose to dwell in

I am a package of the deeds I have done in the past; my present is the corrected mistake of my past I am molded by my past to be what I am today; I live in the present moment but I always have a past, I choose to live with it sometimes; I am a derivative of my past

My life is not a mirror of perfection, it’s a water ripple, the situations may get fuzzy but I stand still; none of us are perfect

Amidst a lot of impediment and adversity; I choose to rise above the opinions of several and stand tranquil; I choose to celebrate my independence and uniqueness – I am “me” – I am Unique

I am beyond everything– “I am LIFE”

The splendor of my eyes lies not in the face; look beyond it – I have you hidden in there; I seldom cry for I may lose you. I blink my eyes not too hard for you may cry in twinge; you are mine – I love you my “LIFE”

The beauty of my smile lie not in the lips, look within – I have you hidden in there; in the sexiest curve you can ever think of; every time I smile it’s in your name; you are mine – I love you my “LIFE”

My love for you lie not in my heart, look within – I have you hidden in there; amidst the most bruised and shattered piece your “SOUL” twinkles  embracing me elatedly; you are mine - I love you my “LIFE”

"Castles of Sand - Constellation of Peace"

Sound sleep had become a rough mission; pleasant dreams turned to nightmares. No state of mind is as dreadful as insomnia is what she realized then. She woke up at frequent intervals; assuming that she suffered from sleep paralysis. Almost every single soul who visited in her dreams either begged for pardon or cried for forgiveness Going deeper into those dreams and contemplating them was out of scope and she cared the least to know more about them. A couple of weeks passed by and sleep being the quintessential need of one’s life to sustain; she had to find a way on her own to come out of this painful situation.

 Plethora of flowers bloomed in the garden; she lay on her back looking at the starlit sky with mind peeping into the old and dull books of her days gone by. She had come to the garden seeking solitude. She closed her eyes for a while trying to ease her mind and body from the hectic schedules life threw at her when she heard a gang of little girls scream and dance blissfully ; they were busy building sand castles and running around it singing rhymes taught at school. She wanted to move away from that place the very next moment but slowly she realized that their voice in unison was feast to ears. She opened her eyes and smiled involuntarily thinking, this is the place where one has to be to be to move away from melancholy; the sky was merely a vacuum and the stars bejeweled it. Castles in sand were meant to be gone by the wind but the girls built them with ease and celebrated every bit of it.

The little girls sang and danced with delight bringing out the lovely sound waves into space; she found no difference between the little angels and the sky. Both were just space and so was her mind. Inadvertently her mind started creating freedom that she yearned for; she was lost in stupor; her mind traveled slowly to take a peek at the closed books of her life; peacefully it read the lines – Peace is within you – Your mind is a sky and the thoughts you sow in it are the stars; create a lovely constellation of forgiveness like the music tweeted by the little girls around the sand castles.

The bright rays of the sun danced on her face waking her up; she opened her eyes to find the little girls and the starlit sky; gone were they leaving her in the state of trance. She had forgiven everyone she held a sense of vengeance on; she smiled looking at the mirror and said –

“Songs of tranquility is what I heard looking at the starlit airspace; I let go every bit of retaliation from me; the constellation of Peace is what I outline in the garden of my mind and let the flowers of "Love" blossom at all seasons"

"Scarred Soul"

A striking carved cot with intricate designs stood in the drawing hall; it was a lovely piece of work, the black color of the wood complimented the sky-blue painted wall of the bed-room. The legs of the cot were carved round with a glossy finish on the surface. We all stood spellbound looking at the wonderful art and appreciated the skill of the old carpenter who stood smiling at the door. We thanked the old-man for his dedicated hours of work and rewarded him handsomely for his craftsmanship and bid good-bye. While everyone stood admiring the wonderful artistry of the carpenter, there was one person who did not have a single word to speak about or appreciate the beauty of the lovely piece that stood a midst us. I was awestruck and this reaction from her was the least anticipated one.

It was a hot sunny afternoon, we had walked all the way back from school and it was a tiring day. We ran into the kitchen to gulp a glass of water and munch on some cookies. My friend ran into my study-room and started finishing her home-work while I threw my shoes and bag on the floor and relaxed watching cartoon show on the TV. I had dozed away until I heard my mom knocking at the door. She asked me about the school and gave me a bar of chocolate and went upstairs to see if the old-man was working. The old-man smiled at her and said that the cot was being made as per the instructions and he said he would be delivering it as expected. Mom smiled at him and came downstairs, I then realized that my friend had disappeared for quite some time then and went to the study-room to find her. I was a little surprised to see her books lying on the floor without her, I went to the other room where the old-man was working, he looked oblivious of the situation and I came downstairs to check with my mom if she saw her.

My friend had started to behave very strange towards me, I felt ignored and lost. I cried to mom about her behavior towards me. Mom was quite surprised to see my best buddy abandoning me, it was more than a week since she had even walked back from school with me, I missed my dear friend but I had got accustomed to it now. Almost a couple of months passed by, but my friend was never the same.

45 days, and the cot was completed as promised, the old-carpenter stood with his master-piece with smugness when my friend walked in. My happiness knew no bounds; I ran to her and showered her with kisses and hugs. I looked like a pup running and wagging its tail out of happiness by the sight of his master. My friend stood still while I still smiled and screamed with joy bringing the roof down. The carpenter left with his sum leaving his beautifully crafted cot to us with his usual smile. I grabbed my friend by her hands and pushed her on the cot, tears rolled down her cheeks. I was startled looking at my friend sob. I sat beside her, she was lost.

I slept watching cartoon, when my friend went upstairs to the study-room to finish the homework; the old-carpenter had exhibited his skills on the girl behind the closed door. The girl wept in agony, I was dumb-founded. I looked at the cot that stood in the huge bed-room of my parents and I looked at my best friend weeping. The carvings on the cot  were no more designs that appealed to my eyes just a few minutes back, it was a piece of blemish that reflected the old-man’s thoughts and his scandalous act.  

Heinous was he, shameful were his actions; with a monster dwelling in him, a facade of forged smile he wore, skills he had not to just carve designs but leave the body of my friend and my soul scarred forever.

"I am boundless and Unconditional" - I am IMMORTAL

I am born; I’ll die – I am not immortal. The ultimatum is death and what I want to do in between is only a greater consequence.  I was born out of love and I am taught that love is the only thing that is eternal.  When I said “I love you” to people; I could speck different reactions; some faces went blank, some readily accepted and some had the Acceptance in denial” way of acceptance some uprightly rejected you but spoke about it to their friends and their dear ones.  

There are some peculiar things about Love that has till now left me mesmerized; things that I am unable to contemplate or comprehend about even after trying it for a zillion times  - people thanking-you for your love, people trying to explain their limitations for not reciprocating it, trying to make us understand what they feel about us, trying to explain their situation back at home about relationships, trying to estrange you by calling you, “You are incomparable, You are too special to be loved like a normal girl-or a boy-friend” you deserve someone really best, trying to term you as a role-model or even sometimes, Oh no! I have never had such thoughts about you; the funniest of all I have encountered is about people bragging on how others go gaga over them and how they are turned-down upright. Well, has anyone of us sat back and thought, “LOVE”, who are you?

Most of the times you tell people that you love them, they immediately jump into a conclusion that they have been asked to get into a relationship, is that what Love really is meant to be?

After a very long time I had met this friend of mine; undoubtedly he was a man any girl would dream to be with. I knew him since my school-days and I guess taking the liberty of telling him that I liked him was not a great deal, it was a light-heart statement I made and the repercussions later were unanticipated. Things went intangible; I was in dilemma if he really understood what I meant or most of the times I wondered if I made a terrible mistake of expressing my thoughts to him.  Every time I tried explaining thing, it always took different digression. He promised things that were meant to be broken, he made me wait and laughed when I fumed; I did it all because I connected with him emotionally and loved him whole-heartedly. Never did I ask him to go out with me nor had I the intentions of being romantic with him, my intentions were pure and I believed that opportunity comes once and I did not want it to go empty-handed. I was not interested to know justifications or did I ask him to devote his time for me, all I wanted was not being judged and ignored, a friend who would stay besides me like he always said but everything fails is what I realized after I got to meet him.  Love was in the air and the fragrance it gave out was the most pleasant, drew all my energy and passion towards it and left me with just the bitterness of ignorance and humiliation.

Love needs to be celebrated, rejoiced, it comes from different people from different places at unexpected times, all you need to realize is that it is as precious as your existence; you are just here to spread it without any excuses being made.  

Small things in life make a significant impact; so is Love. Spread it, feel it, rejoice it. It is boundless, unconditional, effortless and the loveliest.  Love is Immortal and not us.

A “BEAUTIFUL” – SOUL-MATE

My feelings for you are mayhem and I am not worried that it sways between the pinnacle and nadir. The harder I try to direct them they flee from me.  Trying to veil them will only bury them alive, at a snail's pace I realized that my thoughts were looked upon disjointedly from me. Losing rhythm in comprehending about someone you closely trust and love is a state of sheer failure.

Lending a helping hand when you are in distress do not make me a charity worker, I can still be your soul-mate

Cooking delicacies that tantalizes your taste-buds do not make me a master-chef; I can still be your soul-mate

A painting on a canvas especially on a special day made solely for you do not make me a well-known artist; I can still be your “soul-mate”

I make you smile at times when your heart wants to let a violent cry out do not make me a clown; I can still be your soul-mate”

Beautiful lines from my heart flow in the form of a poem just for you do not make me a writer; I can still be your “soul-mate”

I do not need an adjective prefix to be happy. I have abundant qualities but that is not who I am, they do not define me. They are just skills I may have developed over years with lot of efforts but today when I do it for you I feel laudable. I am not a bag of adjectives, I bleed too when injured, I sob too when life defeats me at times, I do everything you do but still I lose myself finding the essence of my life in your arms. Anything I do for you are not for the lucrative titles you bequeath me with; abundant love, an everlasting curve on your lips, a soft kiss on my forehead, a gentle hug when distressed and shattered, a hand that holds me until the ultimatum parts us away, a voice that can proudly scream to the world and say, Here she is - “MY SOUL-MATE” is all I need.