DIL ------------ MIL :):):):)

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It was a general discussion of marriage and the changes that occurs post-marriage, good and bad aspects of a marriage were being debated. One of my colleague mentioned, “I am really thankful to God that there is no chaos in my family and I am leading a peaceful life, you won’t believe me, my parents treat my wife as their own daughter and vice versa, I am really lucky”. As we were discussing, few thoughts were provoking me at the background. I went back home and thought over it again and I had these two questions to be answered.

"Why did my colleague explicitly mention the above words?"

"Why do mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have differences of opinion?"

We must have all seen an email that speaks about different roles of a girl, it flawlessly flaunts about a girl and her roles as a mother, sister, daughter, lover, wife etc. Is it not the same to guys as well? They have similar roles to be played. If a girl can play a role of a daughter so does a guy, he is a son, a brother, a father, a grand-father so on and so forth but we have never seen such an e-mail in circulation.

We have all heard about a girl getting married, she leaves her parents goes to her in-laws place. Each and every married lady I have come across has always delivered the same speech, “Being a lady, we have to learn the art of compromise and we should never let our parents down”. They also have some common complaints, “My husband does not listen to me, he is a disciple of his mother and she rules the home and she is a dictator”.

One of my friends got married recently, she visited my home. After sometime, I asked her about her married life and how is she doing? She started off the story with a positive note and immediately after two or three seconds she started the usual complaining process as all others. “I am into a new relationship, it’s a new experience and people have so many expectations from me, it’s better to be born a guy. I just fail to meet it and my husband also takes the opponent’s party.” I interrupted her in between and I asked her, “Hey, tell me honestly, Are you the only person who is into a new relationship? Is it only you who is trying to compromise all the time? Have you even for a second thought about your husband? My friend was stunned, she was mad with rage for I had taken her husband’s side.

Well, this is neither a male dominated society nor a female oriented. If a lady has a role to be played as a mother, daughter, sister etc. it is equally true that a guy also has similar roles to play. If she is trying to adjust to a new environment it holds good even for the guy, he would also be trying to compromise with his in-laws and it is a new family to him as well. Just that, he does not have to leave his parents and go, other than that everything applies to his life as well.

When a child takes birth it is pre-dominantly cared by mothers (women), irrespective of genders. Every child would definitely be influenced by their parents; especially by mothers. Moms have a dominant role to be played in any child’s life. Generally sons are much attached to their mom. To a certain age, a guy will always look upon his mother for everything as she is the only important lady in his life and she takes the prominence of being a first priority for everything. His mother is the only lady who will have all the rights on her son till he gets married and that is ideally true.

After a guy gets married, he brings his wife home. This is the actual torture phase which most of our men are going through. The atmosphere would be pretty calm till the day of competition starts. It makes him realize that he is now shared by two most important women of his life, (mother and wife). One is the reason for him being alive and the other his life-partner. Both ladies start to quarrel for their right. Mother says, “He is my son and I am his first priority”. Wife says,” Well, he was your son till I came and now he is my husband and I am his first priority”. We already have the "Ladies first principle strange is that here we have another set of principle :):):):) Same

The general and initial reaction of any child would be to console the mother. When I say child, it is irrespective of the genders. The guy also does the same; he goes to his mother and tries to calm her down. Later, he approaches his wife and does the same till his temper reaches the peak wrecking a happy family.

Is it the complexion that provokes the wife to do all this or is it the insecurity or the fear of losing makes mothers behave this way?????

Whatever is the behavior and whose ever is it does not matter, the sufferer is neither just a husband nor a wife, but it is the whole family. The couple should always understand the significance of the role and should balance it accordingly in both the houses. Parents are always parents and they always occupy the first position in any child’s life.

Chains do not hold a marriage together.  It is threads; hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. It is just a mutual understanding and working towards it which helps us to maintain a good relationship.

This question still haunts me :):):):)

“Why does the incompatibility always exist between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, why not between a son-in-law and a father-in-law?????????????????????????? Funny isn’t it??????? :):):)

When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are abbreviatedJJJ, we get the most beautiful word :):):)“DIL MIL” Let’s all join hands to drive the “DIL MIL” mission to have a happy family :):):)