“Miraculously Blessed”

I stood in front

of the photograph and shed tears like a small kid; it was such an emotional fit I missed him so badly and just wanted to hug him but I could not, I knew he was always there for me but I physically wanted to see him around which was totally impractical; the imagination of his smile, his mischief, his memories took me three and a half years back, him on the hospital bed like a veg table with just tears in his eyes, the whole picture just got opened; could not tolerate any further; looked at him feebly and just asked him one thing, “Am I Bad?” why don’t you answer it to me? Why did you leave me all alone to face the wrath of the people around for no fault of mine? I just jabbered some more questions to the photograph on the wall till my tired eyes sealed themselves off dragging me away to sleep, all I could remember was I could not hug him and that was what mattered to me during that time.

I woke up the next morning with inflamed eyes; wondering what had happened last night but I could ambiguously remember, completed my chores, and started to office, it was a pretty unusual day, it was gloomy outside, seemed like the sun had forgotten to awaken, it was a clear sky, as clear as a canvas waiting to be splashed with colors; nothing looked appealing to me, I just looked down straight and accelerated my vehicle and rode with multiple conflicts trying to take precedence over each other .

I was just looking down at the floor while I bumped into the head of my team, he looked at me and without a word, he said; I would like to meet you today at my office, please come over. I was a little apprehensive, wanted to immediately know and understand what he wanted to convey to me; I ran around people who I was at ease with and asked few questions to which the most expected disappointing sentence “How would I know?” was a reply.

I waited for about half an hour until my colleague completed the discussion; I went inside; he smiled at me and the first question he asked was, “What do you want to do?” there were lot of things he said and amidst the discussion my eyes filled with tears, the helplessness took over me as I opened up myself with the concerns I had; he stopped me; out of the world there came some words , answers to all the questions I had asked the photograph on the wall “YOU ARE A GOOD GIRL”; I found my answer. I walked out of the room with happiness; my eyes were gleaming with joy, I went out now looked at the sky above; I could see it painted with the picture that I have on the wall in my bed-room. I was miraculously blessed; the presence of the most missed soul of my life was felt again.

A game for name" Heaven on earth"

She looked up for the sky adorned with stars reminding about her mother's blue plain saree with small polka dots all over, she smiled to herself and thought how the terrace welcomed them everyday with love yet her mind was doing it's work in the back-ground braking her from admiring the beautiful scene that filled around her. She waited till he came with his welcoming smile and a warm hug with a kiss on her forehead. He pulled her towards him, handed over the coffee mug, spread some biscuits on the plate and looked at her until the mug was emptied to it's very last drop He noticed her being upset abut something and waited for her to bring up the issue herself. She gazed at him desiring to express her ill-feeling about a person whom till to this day she admired to be a good person but gave up as he pretended looking up at the sky holding her tight in his arms and resting his head on her's and laughed at his own jokes.

The breeze struck her loose hair leaving some to flow on his face, he was drawn by the aura, came close to her and planted a kiss on her forehead while she blushed, moved his hands over her neck drew her close to him while she pushed him away, started to check if his family issues were solved, he smiled brushing her hair off her face and said, umm!yes, it's almost solved sweetheart, she sighed in relief yet she looked worried, and suddenly looking from the top most floor of the building she said, God! this is scary, just look down and you will, even before she completed the sentence she was captivated. He did not like to see her depressed under any circumstances; in an effort to drift her away from her current thoughts he said, alright let's play a game; she looked curious, she was always fancied by the word "game" , she waited eagerly and said, Alrightie! tell me, what is it, be quick. Umm! Speak a word and kiss on cheek, whoever loses shall treat the other with a samosa and coffee, Deal? Yeah, deal she chuckled yet agreed to play the game, The game began, she said a word and planted a kiss on the cheek;for a minute it felt like she was completely separated from all her worries but as she progressed, she ended up with a lot of story than the game, she wove sentences after sentence and forgot completely about the game. He listened to her patiently till she vent out all the frustration and then said, alright it's now my turn, which made her realize that she was a spoil sport, he smiled and started the game.

One word, two words and finally he ended up leaving her cheeks painted red, she laughed her heart out hugging him; tears of happiness running down her cheeks, very late did she realize that the game was just a reason to relieve her from the stress and tensions, she now looked up and her lost thoughts started to regain control, the sky filled with stars looked like her mother's saree she always loved to wear as a child and the terrace that welcomed her warmly everyday despite of the cold winters, heavy showers and hot summers, with him beside her the evening brought back life to the lost soul, smile on a sad face, happiness to the depressed heart and finally heaven down to earth in the form of a funny game.

Love and happiness cannot be defined it only needs to be felt :):):)

Zeal versus age...."The cold winter breeze"

It was a Wednesday evening, winding up the hectic day at office,with the December winter being really cold, chill running down everyone's spine, people on the streets were covered with shawls and wind-cheaters, as i rode back from work to home observing lot of people their way back from work to home to meet with their loved ones after a day long schedule. I just felt the air inside office was extremely cold due to the air-conditioned system till I was exposed to the natural cold winter breeze that almost made me go numb.

The evening looked pleasant with the cold winter breeze drawing a lot of young college going couple together, birds finding their way back home remembering their younger ones, dogs cuddling themselves cozily on the sand heap which usually chased the riders,   the priest at temple performing his usual rituals waiting religiously for the devotees to shell out their pockets. I just looked at all of these wondering how things were defined to be; and wondered if the priest really chanted the verses as they were supposed to be or skipped most of them leaving people confused as he trembled in cold, I moved with the traffic laughing looking at the priest's plight waiting for devotees being careless of the cold breeze that hit his half bare body. The traffic was getting really worse and I prayed the lord that I reached home early and went on accelerating non-stop but with periodic and continuous brakes that definitely slowed my pace.

I followed the traffic till a point, where there were lot of vehicles packed without anybody honking for their way, after a couple of minutes lifting the wiser away from my helmet I got up and leaned forward to check what was happening learning that no vehicle owners made any noise against a car driver who was trying best to apply a reverse brake to go backwards, leaving me dumb-struck. I waited to see some progress and understood that it was all in vain. I kept quiet too as I had to follow the fellow-riders and drivers, I waited for some more time for our skilled driver to apply all the strength and intelligence to man-oeuvre and get away with the steering wheel but to my luck I couldn't sense an inch movement from the time I witnessed the incidence, I was getting restless waiting and was getting annoyed as none of them protested, cursing my fate I again stood quietly turning off the ignition choke. It was fifteen minutes by then and then suddenly there was a cheer from the crowd, I heard everyone applaud and scream cheers and then the vehicles slowly started to move, wavering their hands with a ear to ear smile at the car driver who finally had managed to move.Least bothered about the strange act assuming that the driver being a celebrity, I happened to pass the car while I heard a trembling voice from within the car, Thanks for your co-operation people. I was stunned with the sight of our skilled driver, My assumption went for a toss, the driver was a grand-ma aged about 80 trying to learn driving. I paused for a minute and smiled gleefully, got down from my vehicle but I guess I missed granny :):):) she was too fast while she accelerated leaving behind real dumb-founded with the zeal she had.

Granny grew old only by her age and not by heart, she still wanted to learn driving :):):) Cheers to the zealous Grand ma :):):)

"Wait"........Even the lord waits....

It was almost nine at night when I reached back home from work, parking the vehicle straight in front of my home I wen inside to see what was going on and I saw the TV running without any viewers, I left my bag and wandered through the entire house searching for Amma when I finally found her on the bed speaking to someone on the cell phone, I went close by and tried eavesdropping, but it was too late; Amma had already disconnected the call and looked at me smiling but then her smile disappeared and was replaced immediately by anger; she shouted at once, "Where the hell were you all this while?, Your bloody cell phone is either switched off or never answered", she went on complaining constantly until I asked her the reason for her frustration, at once she said, "I am sick and tired of waiting all day for you, you never stick to your words, I cut her short even before she completed her sentence, looked at her rolling my eyes and said, I am sorry Amma ..... She nodded her head in  acknowledgement,and asked me if  wanted something to eat ..."The waiting was over".

I told him I would be at his place at exact 8:30 a.m., he waited religiously for me under that banyan tree but never went there anytime less than 10:30 am, everyday I made some or the other reason for being late one day I cooked, another day I got up late and sometimes my vehicle troubled me, and the reaction always told me that he wasn't convinced with any of my justifications or reasons. One fine day I managed to be there at 8:30 a.m. he wasn't  there at his usual waiting place, I looked around for a couple of minutes, I was restless, picked up the phone, scrolled down till I found his name, held it to my ears when I saw him right in front of me with a broad smile and a tight hug, I smiled back and he said finally, my waiting comes to an end. 

It was Diwali and I had an opportunity to decorate the diyas, I decided to give away the first pair to my grand dad and also wanted to light it myself for him and make him happy, I managed to give away the diyas but since I had to rush to office I could not light them, three days passed by and everyday I crossed his home, I checked with the lady if the diyas were used, she said no on the first day, the second day I asked her, she said probably she would be lighting it tomorrow, I went off again as I was again getting late to work, on my way back I again stopped to check but never went inside, people were busy waiting to get my grand-dad's blessings, I peeped inside, smiled at him and went back home, again the next day same routine on checking the diyas, I asked the lady and this time I got something strange to hear, I guess he is just waiting for you to light them yourself for him, every time we decide to light them we are unable to. Then later in the evening I along with my friend went to his place, I stood straight in front of him, i could sense the serene face turned mischievous, I looked back and the lady came with the a plate decorated with flowers, placed the diyas in the middle of the plate and handed it over to me to light them, we both lighted them and prayed for his blessings. I opened my eyes and he said, Finally, my waiting is over.

Though amma had a chance to crib about my behavior she just ended her waiting by a nod; though he had a chance to taunt me on my restlessness he ended the waiting just by a warm smile and a tight hug though grand-dad had so many devotees visiting him everyday desiring to light the diyas but he waited for me to do it myself for him. People wait and complain loved ones wait and enjoy, the supreme lord waiting for his devotee was just a surprise. "Moments to cherish".

Feeling, "THE BEST"

 It has been a while since I published a blog. In fact had lost the rhythm is what I would like to say.I was moved by this incident and decided to record it.

Saturday afternoon, I went to the beauty saloon to get a haircut, beautician being my very good friend smiled and greeted me, I grinned at her and sat waiting for my turn. A lady was sitting on the chair getting her nail shaped, went on with her nonsense and poor jokes. The beautician remained quiet, I noticed the sadness in her eyes, she was physically present but mentally absent and disturbed.

After a while, she called me while I slowly got up from my seat and went to her, loosened my hair and instructed her, layer with feather and steps. She looked lost as she listened to me. I shook her when the tears rolled down her skinny cheeks.

Though I was shocked to see her in that state, I waited patiently till she went out all her frustration, helplessness and grievances accumulated like debris.

It went on for fifteen minutes after which she looked at me and said, "I am sorry, for making you wait", Please do not mind. Smilingly, I looked at her and gave her soft hands a tap assuring her that it was alright.

She rubbed her eyes and nose, swallowing the lump in her throat; she asked me, What haircut do you prefer to have this time?, she asked me with a feeble and a fake smile on her lips.

I repeated the above statement, and she slowly started to move her scissors and the sprayer while the FM played in the background. I slowly bent down to reach the switch and turned off the radio.

While she was busy trimming the hair length, I slowly started to chit chat with her. Being known for quite some time now, I had the privilege to ask her about the Parlor Business and her customers.The talk went for a short period of time, once I felt comfortable talking to her I asked her, "Hey buddy, what made you weep?", "Why did you sob so badly?" "Is something serious?"

Initially she hesitated to reveal the matter but slowly she started to open the Pandora's box.

All my earnings is purely dedicated to the family, I do not get a chance to enjoy even a penny, but I do not care about that. I am twenty years old and I have the responsibility to take care of my entire family, My dad is a drunkard, My mother is as innocent as an infant and an illiterate, I did not have the privilege to get good education, I remained a deprived kid. Being the eldest daughter, I have always had a chance to support my family,I thank the lord for this. However, i am unable to arrange for the admission fees for my sister's graduation.I have really become helpless. I am lost and I do not have any source whom I can go to. As her mouth spoke the words, her little hands were busy wiping the tears off her face.

My observation and listening went on quietly till she completed her part of the story. I then held her hand, drew her close to me and the conversation went on for five or six minutes till I gathered the background of the problem. After some How's, Why's were asked, I understood their interest lay only in one famous college of  the city. I questioned her, why haven't you applied in other colleges, what is the specialty of this college?Is this the only Institution who can afford to produce the brightest, brilliant and the most efficient students of this Nation?

My sister has scored seventy seven percent, yet I am unable to get her admitted to that institution. When the results were announced, the fee structure remained 13 thousand. It was reasonable and we had decided to pay the fees. To confirm the same, I had her sent to the college to re-confirm the fee amount, she came back disappointed. She ran into my mom's arm ans started to weep non-stop. We were terrified looking at her state. As we were discussing, her sister came downstairs. She refused to look at me, and when I greeted her, the first sentence she uttered was, "I am not continuing my Music Class, Please forgive me".I looked at her and asked teasingly, "Why, what has you learning Music got to do with anything else?".

She replied, "I do not have money to study", There's none to help me, my sister is killing her happiness and I am unable to make it to degree. I fell short of two marks to qualify to the 13000 grid and my name was shortlisted in the 25000 fee grid was what i heard from her. I studied day and night sleeplessly with my sister and mother beside me supplying the basic things when needed and now this is the result I give them. I am ashamed of myself.I would not learn Music and make my sister spend a penny on me hereafter. I am not worth all the pain and efforts she puts in.

I was dumb-founded listening to the thoughts running in her head. Her sister went close to her while she pleaded her sister to forgive her. I could not stop myself from helping that girl. I was first surprised looking at the girl's desire and passion towards studying and then I was moved by the bonding that the sisters shared with each other.The love and affection that existed between them. It was as pure as as a crystal.

Just to draw their attention, I cracked a joke to which they laughed, in the mean time, I asked both the girls to relax, called my Uncle who has contacts in colleges to find out if he was of any help to us. Unfortunately, I could not get any. I came out of the parlor assuring them that the money would be arranged for her fees.

Thanks to the latest technology, "the mobile phones", A message was typed, transmitted in a matter of few seconds.News spread as fast as rapid fire amongst all my friends, Kind and genuine hearted people contributed for the noble cause. An opportunity to help the needy had come on our way unknowingly.It was a blessing in disguise to do some good deed. The intended amount was accumulated in a day. I relaxed and told myself, "The Mission Impossible is now Successful" We were all glad and surprised looking at the sum collected. It seemed priceless and the joy felt within was beyond words.

I ran to her home with the envelope, called her mother, sister and her. I said, "Close your eyes", "Lend your hand". She religiously followed my instructions, I handed over the heavy cover to her, she opened her eyes, On the cover were the words, "ALL THE BEST" from all of us.... She was confused, while I winked at her to look inside the cover.

Her heart jumped with joy,eyes filled with tears,lips adorned the beautiful smile I ever noticed. She came running and embraced me while her mother and sister remained speechless with a wide smile and tears. After some casual talk, I bid good bye to her family, I walked down the street humming lines of my favorite track with a great feeling inside. i realized, "Happiness is the state of Mind" and I had attained it.

When you help yourself you feel good, when you help others who are in real need of it you feel "THE BEST" and that is what I had noticed a couple of minutes back.THE LOST SMILE and HAPPINESS was back on the tired faces again.

I remained happy all the day while I had few questions unanswered.

1. Are educational institutions so corrupted?
2. Does 2 marks really matter to ruin a poor student's life and does it really give the institutions a right to harass lower class people ?
3.I have seen people craving for materialistic life and why was this girl dying to study?

4.Are educational institutional built to make or break lives of students?

5. Will a studious candidate from a low financial background be able to survive such exorbitant prices?

6.With such population, how many such bright students can have a helping hand when required?

The Farewell Day ............................ 22 October 2010 :) Mindtree to EMC2

How many of us have actually made difference in someone's life? ............................................. Small things might not look big so are people, strangers today are friends tomorrow :):):):):)

The farewell day was over unofficially with all other friends of mine in DDG, I had not noticed a change in myself. I was able to mask my emotions for another week with great difficulty for I consoled self that he would be there with us for another week yet. A week later, he had an official send-off party. I was a little disturbed, very soon did I realize that he was leaving all of us and joining a new organization.

Well, a part of my memory just flashed back, It started to flow just like a film reel. It paused at the most beautiful moments we had spent while it fast forwarded few things. I did not understand what was that I missed while my mind played every bit of the incidents that took place in his presence, but I could vaguely remember what was that it had tried to hide from me.

Getting up with a heavy head, early in the morning, I started to take a brisk walk to avoid the conflicts within me, while I constantly kept walking, a part of me just drifted away to the incidence that had occurred just a couple of days back.

My brain just flashed a piece of a movie that was in it's store for me to understand, why was my other friend so emotional the other day while this person had his official farewell, there were droplets of water in his eyes which fought violently and constantly with the heart to release it immediately, while my eyes stole a glance at him with my lips wearing a smile. I asked him, "Hey dumma, why are you sobbing buddy?". He did not whisper either, all he did was put his hand on my head as if he was petting his cute little sister with a grin. 

I did not understand the strange gesture of his then... But now, I knew what it was.......................He was leaving us.

 Yes, when he had put down his papers, I had not felt what I did feel today, tears had not rolled down my cheeks,Like it did the last night while I slept, I just remembered the wonderful moments spent with that person. It was just flashing back and forth my memory.

The tea-time breaks/the cafeteria/the idlis/the aunty's kitchen chats/the roadside samosas and tea/the chocolates he bought/the smile he was adorned with/the scoldings I got while he was unwell/the teasings/the Matte Mungaaru movie we watched with Pruthvi beside us sitting clenching his teeth :):) the troubleshooting job he did/the way he had sided all of us in one of the worst meetings we had/his silent way of admiring beauty and criticizing the page three personalities/and The agony aunt trip I had with him when I was in a grey mood.   What not????? 

I just thought, I knew a couple of months back that he wouldn't be amidst us by the end of October, the reality existed way back, but I guess I had masked the emotions within myself, till I got down the car on Saturday night after we came back home from a movie and slept with heavy heart and tear filled eyes trying to understand what strange emotion it was.

The last day here is  already over while the first day at your new firm is eager to embrace you.New environment, new assignments, new task. Everything is as new and fragile as a new born.

Wish you all the best :) and yes......"WE MISS U A LOtttttzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

BESTEST PART OF EVERYBODY's LIFE :):):):):):):)

Yeh Dosti :):):):)

Some things, few places,handful of people not just catch your eyes they also print an impression on your heart leaving the fond memories lingering all the time making you happy whenever you think about it or them.

Not everyone are special, not all can cross your mind and grab your attention. You can not build the bridge of trust, love and affection with everyone and vice versa.

Sometimes the mechanism of our heart and brain just fascinates me to know more about them, but that's real insanity. The heart is a fist size and how does it allocate the space to each and everyone who gives an entry in your life. It's so amazing that our heart can also discrete between the special permissions, full control, partial control depending on the people :):):):) It's really not funny if I say that our heart must have learnt mathematics the moment it starts it's work for the first time when we are all in our mom's warm bag.

"How did I make friends with you?", I have always hated you and you have been my worst enemy all time but now I can never imagine sitting beside you hand in hand, teasing, making fun of you and unfortunately you are my best friend :):):) Most of the times, we end up with people ;whom we think we are incompatible with. How??
"How could that be possible?"
"How can I start liking a person whom I did not earlier?", "Am I crazy or is the opposite person driving me insane".

"I never spoke to you earlier and now we have become such thick friends".

We come across people from various walks of life, different culture,different religion,different country,opposite sex, sometimes we make pen friends whom we may never meet throughout our life yet the love and affection lasts forever.

Most of the relationships we make and try to maintain has some restrictions, boundaries and limitations. Why is friendship not designed accordingly? Nine out of ten times we do not hesitate to reveal the most important decision or a secret of our life to a friend but the same does not occur in any other relationships.

The last bench noise-makers, mass bunk, quarrel to gain half a mark in the examinations,exchange of cold stares, Adam and eve teasing, hide and seek, common toilets, common plates, snatching chocolate from each other's mouth, the adolescence love stories, the trips we went together, screaming, yelling, singing non-rhythmically, tapping our feet to the dance numbers. Despite all this, there is something called "BETWEEN FRIENDS" which never fades off. 

Endless nonsense, anytime disturbance, the most PRIVILEGED,group chatting in the name of group studies, hand in hand,winking at each other,cracking the most dirtiest jokes,laughing at the horrible poor joke;just not to make you feel sad, the gossiping, the birthday bumps,late night chats, calls, 12:00 wishes,accommodating each other, caring,boundless love and affection, the hugs and the weeping part when we depart from each other, when the life road takes a deviation due to various reasons and circumstances........

We all definitely have such wonderful gems who have the resistance to tolerate the most wicked, bad,evil us. Treasure them, they are worthy :):):):) irreplaceable by any other means or ways.:):):):)

This small piece of my writing is dedicated to the people whom I consider as, "THE BEST THINGS" happened to me :):):):) Yes..... To my FRENZZZZZZZZZZ :):):):):)I love you all :):):):):):)

"Friends are people who can love you much better than a lover does", was one of the quote written by my friend Hari to me during my college days. He left me mesmerized with those words and till date it brings a curve on my lips leaving a drop of tear in my eyes. How true is that?

Life takes different turns, we meet different people and the heart allocates some amount of space depending on the feelings we have towards the person. How wonderful is God's creation :):):):).Hats off to him :):):):)

This connection of friendship might not be through blood, but the feelings friends share between them is beyond the world's imagination.Never miss an opportunity to smile when you bump into someone, you may never know what are you banking :):):):)

God created relatives but he gave us the ultimate option of choosing the best buddies :)

Three cheers to all my buddies :):):)Love ya all :):):):):)

Let me end this small write-up :):):) with the lovely lines :):):)

"Ye dosti hum nahi todenge
Todenge dum magar tera saath na chhodenge
Ye dosti hum nahi todenge
Todenge dum magar tera saath na chhodenge"................................ :):):):)